How to Advise Others
Like the Prophet ﷺ
The essence of giving advice in Islām is captured in the profound statement of the Prophet ﷺ: “The religion is naṣīḥah (sincere advice).” This principle was not just a saying, but a lived reality for the Companions (raḍiya Allāhu ʿanhum), who learned directly from the master of character how to guide others with mercy and wisdom. They understood that effective advice is an act of sincere love, intended to heal and uplift, not to condemn or shame. It is about gently guiding a person back to the path of Allāh, recognizing that every believer’s heart is precious and deserving of care.
A powerful illustration of this Prophetic method is found in the conduct of ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb (raḍiya Allāhu ʿanhu). A man was once brought to him for excessive drinking. Before issuing a punishment, ʿUmar (raḍiya Allāhu ʿanhu) asked those present if anyone could advise the man. One person stepped forward and began to harshly berate the man, listing his sins and warning him of divine wrath. Seeing this, ʿUmar (raḍiya Allāhu ʿanhu) immediately stopped him, saying, “No, this is not the way. You are helping Shayṭān overcome him.” He explained that such an approach only hardens the heart and pushes a person further into despair. Instead, ʿUmar (raḍiya Allāhu ʿanhu) turned to the man himself. With a tone of compassion, he reminded him of the mercy of Allāh, the beauty of repentance, and the blessings of a life lived in obedience. He appealed to the man’s innate goodness, not his sense of shame. Moved by this sincere and gentle counsel, the man’s heart softened, and he repented sincerely.
Practical Applications:
Sincerity of Intention (Ikhlāṣ):
Before you speak, check your heart. Is your motive purely for the sake of Allāh and out of genuine concern for your brother or sister? Or is it to display your own knowledge or feel superior? True naṣīḥah is born from a pure intention.
Gentleness and Mercy (Rifq):
The Prophet ﷺ was a mercy to the worlds. Emulate his gentleness. Use a soft tone, choose kind words, and create an atmosphere of safety, not judgment. Harshness closes the door to the heart.
Advise in Private:
Public admonishment is a form of humiliation that often leads to defiance. Protect the dignity of your fellow Muslim by taking them aside privately. This shows that you care about them as an individual, not about making a public spectacle.
Focus on Hope and Solutions:
While it is important to identify the wrong, do not let the person drown in their mistake. Remind them of the vastness of Allāh’s mercy and offer practical, positive steps they can take to improve their situation.
Be a Living Example:
The most powerful advice is unspoken. Let your own character, conduct, and piety be a testament to the principles you wish to impart. When your actions align with your words, your advice carries immense weight.
Conclusion:
Following the sublime example of the Prophet ﷺ and his noble Companions (raḍiya Allāhu ʿanhum), we learn that true advice is an art form rooted in compassion. It is a means of building bridges, healing wounds, and lovingly guiding one another toward the pleasure of our Creator. May Allāh grant us the wisdom to advise with sincerity, the gentleness to be heard, and the humility to accept advice ourselves.
Āmīn.
